🚨 NEW: THE "I TRIED" PROGRAM — NOW WITH 40% LESS EFFORT Get Your Copy

Certified Unmotivated · Enabling Laziness · Author of "Good Enough"

Aggressive Mediocrity

For 15+ years I've been helping people do the bare minimum and feel great about it. Trusted by people who needed an excuse.

12
Minutes of actual cardio
400+
Excuses accepted
0%
Refunds given
5★
On Yelp (from my mom)

Lowering expectations, one session at a time.

Because "good enough" is a perfectly valid life philosophy.

I Used to Care. Now I Just Count Reps.

Look, we both know you're not going to stick to the meal plan. Why pretend? I specialize in making you feel slightly better about your terrible choices. My philosophy: if it hurts, stop doing it.

Read My Rant

Programs Designed for Minimal Effort

View Pricing (It's High)
01

The "I Tried" Program

Show up, stretch for 20 minutes, complain about your knee, go home. One-on-one training sessions tailored to your specific goals, schedule, and fitness level. In-person or virtual.00/month.

Book a Session
02

Guilt-Free Ghosting

Pay for 10 sessions, attend 3, ignore my texts for a month. I keep the money.

Learn More
03

Nutrition Negotiation

You tell me what you ate, I sigh heavily and tell you to drink more water.

Get Started

Celebrity Non-Clients

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Jessica A.
Marcus R.
David K.
Sofia M.
Ryan T.

People Who Settled

Don't Just Take My Word For It

"I haven't lost any weight, but I feel much less guilty about eating a whole sleeve of Oreos. Worth every penny."

Sarah M.

Professional Sitter

"He let me count walking from the parking lot as my warm-up. Best trainer ever."

David K.

Avoids Stairs

"I pay him mostly so I can tell my friends I have a personal trainer. We just talk about reality TV."

Jessica T.

Status Seeker

Books Nobody Asked For

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Good Enough: A Memoir

By Me

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The Art of Giving Up

By Me

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Napping as Self-Care

By Me

Buy Now

Excuses That Work

By Me

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@aggressive.mediocrity

Follow My Mediocrity

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Ready to Be Disappointed?
Alex's Team

Spots are limited because I like taking long naps in the afternoon.